Tuesday, January 3, 2012

Men are STILL Men

The first post of the new year, darlings. Of course, I needed a few days to get back to a functional state after my New Year's Eve party, but I am still alive, and huzzah for that.

Now that those niceties are out of the way, I'm afraid it's time to get on to some nasty business. Now, you may wonder why I would want to avoid nasty business. I admit it is normally the most fun sort of business out there, but not today.

I read so much gay erotic romance, and I see one resounding flaw through a majority of it. People treat it like a standard romance between a man and a woman, but the woman has a penis.

No. At least in our modern, western culture, the emotions are far too different, even among gay men, for that too work. A man is very loathe to come out and say what the problems are, to cry, or to generally do unmanly things. And yet, time after time, I see one (or both) heroes in these books sobbing and expounding their feelings as if they're paying $150.00 and hour to whine to a therapist.

While it would be nice and would make relationships easier, it's not that realistic, and frankly not terribly interesting. In the US (and I believe most of the world, to be honest), men are taught to suppress emotion so that they don't appear weak. It makes the job of an author harder, in this case, but the work is so much richer when you show, rather than tell (well, I never thought I'd be giving that advice), what the hero is feeling. And, when he then does break down and cry or scream or what have you, it means so much more.

That's not to say there aren't men that cry. All I'm saying is that most men aren't sobbing, whining, snot-balls like an alarming percentage of gay romance heroes seem to be. If you saw them in real life, you might very well tell them to grow a pair. Why not for your characters.

So, this year, I vow to try my damnedest to not only put more upkeep on this blog and my mailing list (which I very sorrowfully neglected, I might add), but also to make my heroes hang low when they get naked (the length I'll go to for a metaphor astound even me at times).

Happy last year of Earth,
Raven

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